Who am I, where did I come from?
You’re a hero! You are famous!
You’re a champion of the young!
You are rich, but it’s so absurd to try
To explain all the things you’ve done.
You’re a god, and you’re loved;
Thousands watch you play
Pinball! It’s a fever!
And you’re the master of the game!
And now that you’re whole,
You’ll be champion of their very souls.
So, I never thought this day would come. Write a blog? – me? Nothing to say nor the skills to write. However, a man I couldn’t say no to, has twisted my arm.
Me: I can’t write.
Him: You’ll be great.
Me: I’ve nothing to say.
Him: You’re the wittiest and wisest man of our age. You’ll be great.
So, now I’ll show him. He’s been wrong before you know, but not on this scale (not even his Blodenbonheim Conspiracy Theory). I am beginning this, safe in the knowledge that it will never actually be seen and if somebody did randomly come across it then I would be anonymous. If you have made your way here and have any inkling that you recognise me from all this, then GO AWAY now! Retain any slither of respect you may have for me.
Before I truly get started I was not being modest when I said above that I cannot write. Don’t know how. Unlikely to ever learn how. To get around this I have decided not to even try. I’m going to pretend it’s my own style. Now, if you did know me you’d be thinking I hope it will have more style than your clothing. But, as you don’t, I guess you’ve nothing to go by and that’s why you’ve persevered this far.
Despite my protestations that I have nothing to say, I do have thoughts. Many peculiar – perhaps peculiar to me. Some may cause controversy and debate: if so then maybe it will be worth continuing. However, however peculiar my thoughts and ramblings may seem, please do not send the men in little white coats – we don’t get on.
I am going to leave my first post there. If you gained nothing but a subliminal reminder to listen to ‘TOMMY’ (by The Who) then it will not have been totally in vain.
P.S. Like a preview for the next episode at the end of a TV show, I thought I’d give a taste of topics to come – feel free to request any you are keen to read.
· My Golden Rules to answering school maths exam questions
· The simple pleasure of tormenting others
· How do we build a better World?
· Divide and Conquer: we’re under attack
· The five greatest inventions